This is an important day for all the S.5 candidates... the rainy days means a lot for them...
I remember that it usually rains on the release of HKCEE results and could not forget how students were running in rain with sweat.

In my old day, it was surprisingly sunny. I got a call on the bus, reporting my mum that I got a satisfactory result and decided whether to go to even a better school for my matriculation study. At last, I gave it up because I wanted to stay with my dear friends who had been studying with me for 5 years... and 7 years now.

Being an Arts student, I am quite happy with my 21 points at that time as it marked my small success in study ... yet, a big blow came after 2 years when I had to face my AL ... which I had no confidence at all... I had given up my dream afterwards and continued my 3-year study at uni with regrets and disappointment ... I took 21 credits every semester and 9 credits every summer semester, hoping to acquire as much knowledge as possible duirng my undergraduate study. I could do it but it doesn't mean a lot to me now.

After working for several years, I started to realize that knowledge is not the most important... or there are much more important things in life, which we should seize while young!

Try more and take the challenges~
It is a good time for me to think carefully what I really want in the coming years!
I am still not sure... hoping to get the answer soon...
It's a real complicated question for me. Who can offer me a solution?

 

 

 

Dragon Boat Festival

    

    

Dragon Boat Festival comes. This festival does not mean a lot to me as every year it is the same ... I remember that a few years ago, I went to a ClubHouse to swim with Man... and another year ago, I went to swim in Morse Swimming Pool. This year I would rather stay home and watch the Dragon Boat competition since the school also sent a team to compete. I waited for nearly an hour but I could not see the team. Maybe I would not watch anymore and go back to sleep further and go out for shopping.

The week has been quick. After the book inspection and exam paper setting, I start to relax much more... although I should submit more for checking, I try not to care too much as long as I have completed the task. Next year, I shall start a new life in another place. I do not want to insist too much at the moment as during the year, my persisitency has driven me into such a poor health and psychology condition. I don't want that anymore. I shpuld accept more and try to put myself into their shoes. To develop a better relationship is easy. That is to be patient and to give more care to them. I know .. and I have tried... it's really better than insisting on carrying out my rules and instilling my values and thoughts into them, which might find them ridiculous.

I have been accussed to be too mean and rejecting ... and that is what I really have to change. From the discussion on life matters, I am glad to receive some precious feedback from my dear friends. I should start to develop a reading habit, which can be my life companion.I should start to learn a musical instrument to kill time. Yes, I should start it asap! Teens time does not last long and we should grab every second while we are young!!

After working so hard for nearly 20 years for my study and work, I should spend the coming time more on my life, on the developmemt of relationship, which I have been placed in such a low priority before. Usually I choose not to go out with my family or not eat with them whenever I need to work, I have classes or I have exams ... I should opt to stay more with my family and friends. Most improtantly, I should be more open-minded. Making more friends to enlarge my social circle is a necessity. I would try ... try to do more and weigh less on my work and study.

Congratulations on my completion of the master study~ release ~ Hurray! AFter 3 years, I finally can get what I want!! Yeah~~~~ I should set a new goal now~~~ Do something new and important during my twenties!!! Support me! ^__^

Deposit Our Happiness into a Blank Account of Memories

    

This week is really a relaxing week for me for these 2 harsh months. Due to the school speech day, I got a 2 half-day off, plus a whole-day off- Hurray! What delights me is there would be no teaching these few days... no need to "fight", "argue" and "run after" them for homework, punishment and all types of work... I can be free from all these tidious work~ Don't you think that's good?

Internet is really amazing. It links people up in a voiceless and intensive way... you cannot imagine you can be updated with the recent news of your friends, classmates and colleagues every minute. You can even see their face on the photos. One of my classmates gave birth to a baby girl already ~ congratulations!! She has just got married a year ago and a blessing comes to their family~ such a happy scene! My F.1 classmate also got married as seen in his photo album. I haven't got his news after Form 5 ... then we got to add each other again in Facebook for several months. Suddenly, I got to see his photos with his wife.. wow~ and knew that he has been a policeman ~~ look smart! I cannot imagine we are living in the same world and everything keeps changing so dramatically except me... My primary school classmate has been a doctor and has a meaningful time helping others every day. Sometimes I really envy people having such a colourful life while I am leading the pre-set plain and simple life ~~~ Should I go for more?

After sharing with the tips of getting attention from the class with George, I really tried it out. I neglected all the possibilities of getting the classes into a mess and got them come out for spelling the words and got the Mercy chocolate. They really love the chocolate as most of them did not have much extra-money to spend on the high-quality chocolate~ good ideas! George always get creative and interesting ideas! That is why I admire him so much in this way. I still have several ways from him awaiting for trial. One more from Jo about making the Engish Chessboard... One of the boys really started his work in order to get a chance of playing the chess in class... hahaha...

Halloween was interesting.. I went to one of the volunteers' house for the party. He is really wealthy with the villa with several entrances... We only played at one of the corners of his house. Participants put on the made up and dressed in scary costumes.. Luckily, I also got a pumpkin hat from the school.. hahaha... we walked out of the villa and scared people in Kowloon Tong... It was so tiring and I almost lost my way back home .. just took 2 buses for the 15-minute journey...

In the past two months, my health is getting worse. The no. of visiting doctor has been over that of my previous 2 years... I could not imagine... My coughing is still non-stop. What should I do? Yankee and Carrie left already, leaving me there.. Teresa is going for a post at EDB soon... She has given me lots of tips as she got plenty working experience in various setting. She advised me to put down the "insistence" and try to adjust myself more to another setting.. or even lower my expectation to free myself further. She encourages me much ... but still I am puzzled atthe corssroads.. or I rarely face these before.. I do not feel good when I did something just to get the things done or please others.. sometimes I rather anger someone to get the things done in a proper way. Many conflicts ... and I try to avoid her recently.. in order not to confuse myself too much. The world can be so complicated or I am still too simple living in this complex world... That breathless feeling is killing me ... Or I really have to change myself further to fit myself better in the workplace.

The psycholgical battles have been shaping me into a loveless person.. I begin to feel that I lose the ability to love others... I always demand this and that.. and challenge this and that.. Perhaps, I am also the one to be hated. While having the battles, there are really more possibilities coming closer. I realize that he knows quite much about me... I know that he is also willing to develop more if I can be more pro-active and I am also having more chatting with him once I am online. Yet, I am not very invovled... I have been longing it for several years but when it nearly comes, I do not feel as excited and welcomed as I expect myself to be. Although there are really nothing with the three of them at the moment or even if I intend to do more, there will be nothing also... I know that if I keep myself like this, I may regret or I would isolate myself from the human world at last... What do I really want? In fact, it is not any imperfect of anybody. It is only me who enlarge the shortcomings of others and give excuses to distance myself... or I am so scared of being rejected again. Sometimes I feel tired because tireness can be a reason of not going out, going online and doing anything... I am really silly...

The cell group continues.. and thanks Helena for her great sensitivity of my needs all the time. That's so sweet. For D, I still cannot give neutral answers since most of the time I found boys choosing between partners are the worst.. so sorry for not able to supply any more support in this aspect. Maybe God will give answers to the most needy. Keep praying~

The unhappy news of Michelle's dad has upset me for a few days... I reflect the fragility of life... I have met their family since Year 1 ... when Michelle was P2.. now she is S.1... I really could not accept the news as the death has been so close ... I hope that their family can go through it with God's grace. I shall go for the ceremony after 2 weeks on Friday.

Happy that I got A- for my mid-term... That's sth I have not seen for a long time... Try my best~~ Just go for the Final and hope to obtain good grade though it is not my very first priority ~~~~

I look forward to my Christmas holiday and hope that I can be more involved in my work and relationship.

God bless~~~

    

    

The completely new school term has been kicked off for more than 1 month. It is not very busy at the moment since nothing I can hurry until things are settled and done. The closing of the school has been my first impresion, taking much of my confidence in it. Some news from my friends about it also discouraged me a lot. Working here cannot give me any bright prorpect but a satisfactory level of income. That is why the 29 Sept has marked the prelude of my excitment in the whole month.

Days are easy or hard there in the school. I have lost my feeling at all... every day, I go there to fulfill my duty and give what I can give to them, expecting nothing. I rarely think about the past few years as comparisons might even disappoint me more and there are too different worlds, composed by other elements. Nothing is needed to be understood or for further investigations since there must be something left unknown in the world.

I am not surprised anymore when students are walking around and chatting wildly with no control... I am just interested whether the lecturers or psychologists or researchers would be able to handle them well if they are asked to meet them every day for 45 mins or even doubled. I would like to learn and observe. There has been time when I was not prepared well psychologically for such a messy scene, which driving my emotion down much in a day. After that, I have never been affected for I got nothing worse anymore... and our past has posed so many expectations on each other before... now, how can I make a change in just a month or a year? When they told me how and what they did to the past English teachers... I only felt sympathetic on the teachers and students... What happened to them? How could the teachers stand that? What was in their mind? Abnormal Psychology also suggested the biological and environmental reasons. Thus, I did not have to doubt but accpet.

Just keep on doing my best and completing all the tasks assigned by the school except some irrelevant chores. I am not going to provide free tutorial service for primary school students after-school.. because this has been far beyond my duty and profession. I also have no hope on boosting the no. of students here if the school atmosphere and the students' attitude cannot be altered a bit in long run. I never deny the value of a band 3 school because I firmly believe that a more adverse consequence will be resulted if all band 3 schools are closed... but I really have no ideas or no points of supporting it if no better or comprehensive alernatives can be suggested. In fact, where is the managment or supervisory staff? The problem is not a sudden bomb. It is something expected but nobody worls for it... That's ridiculous! I would laugh only when it really comes... all the statistics have been given for predicting the future. Without preparation, it is doomed to be a failure.

Anyway, I have no interests in commenting school policies, welfare or students' affairs as my personal growth is also critical at the stage and need time to be nutured for a perfection. I really don't want to repent for wasting my "golden" time periods - the early thirties. Yet, how can I start and set my target? Maybe due to the "meaningless" work life, I have no intention to establish any network or even maintain it. We can meet friends often but if we are "not there", it's still furtile. Nothing can be achieved. I know myself. I cannot connect with others well now... I also dunno why. Maybe some of my closest friends would feel it. I just hope that time will heal or make a change. I never wanna find someone to fill up my own time because it is selfish; I never burden others with many of my personal troubles because it is also selfish although sometimes I do.. or I really want to... I rather prefer keeping myself up and reflect or I can get an answer.

The cell group is continued and it is the 2nd session. David is the one who initiated and eager to share his pts a lot. I feel less eager or passionate than before... Yet, everything when we share or meet, we can feel the joy. That is why I think I need it. Moreover, clearer ideas can be obtained even sometimes we got conflicts on some topics. Religion, to some extent, is subjective. Just like, we never ask for reasons for everything once we got a belief in it. We seldsom ask why do we have parents, why do we traust a bus driver, why do some people like going to WTS or have so many rules rules to follow in CNY... We kept discussing the book "The Will of God as a Way of Life- How to make Every Decision with Peace and Confidence". It told us not to think too far or we should put more time in what we are doing rather than worrying about tomorrow. "Here and Now" is more important. I do agree though I may not be able to do it or fully understand it. Last week, we even shared about the view or history on "pre-martial sex". Two of them found it acceptable as the time changes but I was so puzzled. Could we just explain everything on our own and it could be acceptable? Our mission is to love others like ourselves and follow His wills. Sometimes what I do is also out of my own preference... I am still learning how to make it for God more... and I think I get more ideas after the 2 sessions ... They challenged me much especially David who could not control his mouth or straight-forward trait... Helena is the one who can feel for others more ~

Next week, my dad's birthday again - Chinese calender. He willhave a big celebration every year with my uncle, aunt and cousins. I would love the public holiday too.

I pray sincerely that my "I-centred" would go away and I can have more "love" for others. I feel sad for not being good sometimes and I have no mood in helping or contributing... I am sorry. God, please supply me with strength and courage! I wanna give up but I know I should not. I will insist and could you please change me for the better?

Feeling before the Start of the School

    

    

This week has been quite busy because of the preparation of the new school year and the meeting up with friends for the final round. Still, I am still afraid of spending too much. I have to let it go anyway... I dunno why I cannot feel the joy... seems that everything is the same and no surprise during this week. I really hope that this feeling will get away from me as soon as possible. I cannot imagine how one can be like with no real joy! I pray and I try to obtain more happiness.

On Friday, I attended the GSM and got to know more and more about the school duties. It is a bit scary but I know workload would not be a big deal as time always sets the limit for all the work and it will be finished with time one day. Maybe everything is too new for me or the old school is such perfect or there are so many negative comments on the new one, I still find myself lose my direction or detached from the school. The admin staff is terrible or too slow that really angered me a bit... Yet, I know that I should be patient and calm myself down a bit... it's never difficult for me to accept messy & slow work style... Maybe it is really not my destination. Indeed, I know my way. My goal is not achieve a high position in my career nor earn a lot. I just want to have a stable and happy family. Have a more than enough amount of salary is alright to support my family and myself or I do not mind if I need to devote myself to my family in raising children or so... I am a very traditional girl in this aspect...

On Friday afternoon, I met Esther and went to her new rented house for a visit as she wanted to tidy up her room before she moved there on Sunday. It is a nice house with a great view - greenary is attractive always for me! The beautiful indoor decorations are also fascinating! The house-keepers are so sweet! It was a tiring day to travel from Shatin to Fanling and Sheung Shui!

On Saturday morning, I went to Sing Yin for the last lesson. The group was quite impatient. It reminded me of some more interactions with Ss in lessons. Otherwise, they would fall asleep for sure. In the afternoon, I met my sister at Shatin Town Plaza for the Dior discount day and got some samples. Good that the salesgirls did not have to time to serve us and we left for our activities. She went to Kowloon City for lessons while I went to Causeway Bay for the Gold Medalist Show. It took me nearly an hour to go from Shatin to Causeway and the air-con bus was stilll baking ... I slept and looked ... at last, I got there and I took the ticket at Caroline Hill Road before I could see Vienna & Chu Chu. I met Ronald too.

We enjoyed the show there at HK Stadium. There were plenty people (Arpund 30000) and we saw a lot of athlets (gold medalists) & pop-stars e.g. Joey, Leo Koo, Ng Kok King, Ko Ho Ching, Kelly, Miriam, Charlean & Yip Tak Hang etc. COOL~~ Our CE - Donald Tsang & Mr. Fok... All the athlets looked well especially "Super-Dan" and Li Siu-pang etc. They looked strong and handsome... Kwok Ching-ching is pretty too! We even made the human-waves during the singing. The atmosphere was warm with all the red pop-pop sticks and nation flags! After the show, Vienna, Kannie & I looked for a place for dinner. It was not easy as everywhere was full! We finally got into a noodle store. I took a mini-bus back from Causeway Bay.

Share a joyful song with you. The theme song for HK Equestrian 2008 by Kelly Chen: 《飛躍共舞》

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2hNc_u2MgA&feature=related 

時間飛逝，渺小的人類又算什麼呢？為何我們要為微不足道的事情而苦著口面呢？將要四年了，願漂泊尋覓的人生可找到居處。簡單平凡的生活，不是我們所追求的嗎？

願天父祝福世人，叫我們明白的旨意，不要偏離，使煩惱遠離，並用有限的生命，成就無限的使命，打美好的勝仗！

明天開學，心情難免忐忑。希望人人順利。開開心心。仍然牽掛著以往的一切！

A Fulfilling Summer

    

    

These summer holiday have been filled up with all the activities. It is fulfilling & meaningful though I have once felt too harsh for myself. Yet, when times goes by, I feel that I grow with the experience. In fact, I am one who wants to make good use of the time always and whenever I stop there, I feel I am wasting the time... that is why I had used to take up 7 tutorial jobs at a time during my undergraduate study, studied 21 credits every sem and joined all different kinds of classes: make-up, first-aid, travel escort, piano classes etc... I do not know why I did it though I did not really learn much each time... This year (2008), I got my block placement (40 hours per week) starting from June, joined the Olympic Equestrian Voluntart work and all the training, plus the Sing Yin teaching as usual. They almost came one after one. I felt that I had "abandoned" my family and friends for some time and felt guilty for that. At the same time, I also need to do the transition work for my change of new job... not to mention thecomplicated job-application process: reading recruitment news, sending letters, editing my resume & letter, interviews for several rounds, deciding, researching and confirming... all neraly drove me into a mess at a point of time. At that time, I realize that time is precious and we can never buy time and happiness...

Anyway, when everything came to the end, I felt released and relaxed... I thanked God for furnishing me with this chance. In the placement, I obtained an insight from some sharing with friends and learnt much more about the ethnic minorities. I felt close with them and got a strong feeling that time can change the feeling towards one and could cultivate a better relationship and understanding towards each other. The 10-week lets me know that time is POWERFUL!

The Equestrian event has been a golden chance as HK is such a small city belonging to China. It can also host one of the Olympic events in 2008~ I could even get an opportunity to be part of it. As the CIS- Sponsor Service Assistant Team, I was mainly serving the suite guests, leading them from teh drop-off point to the suite.. I have been waiting at the drop-off point, holding the flag "Suite Guest" to bring them to the entrance. I also have been leading them from the  entrance to the security check. I also have been waiting at the security check to the suite. Sometimes, I served at the merchanized store to control the crowd by telling them to buy souvenirs outside the fore-court. I saw Mr. Donald Tsang at the drop-off point, being interviewed by the media. I saw Ms Elsie Leung, Mr. Tong Ying Lin, Mrs. Chow Leung Suk Yi; also the principal of HKU, Mr. Tsui and other experts such as Mr. Tsoi Tsz Keung & Mr. Lau Tsun Yi; for big businessmen, I saw one of the Brother Kwok- Kwok Ping X, Mr. Stanley Ho and also the next year Chief Executive of Macau... Wow~ they were all suite guests though I did not lead all of them. I did saw them and they were just a few steps away... I could not imagine.

One interesting encounter was when I was leading a foreigner who was also the suite guest. He kept on talking and persuding me to go to the Ocean Park.. I also felt strange why he loved Ocean Park so much. While I asked where he came from, he handed me a name card. He was the Chief Executive of the Ocean Park- Mr. Tom Mehrmann. At the end, he also recommended his colleagues who was responsible for the Holloween to me. He wanted me to bring students there.. hahaha... He is such a funny gentleman~ felt sorry for knowing so little news about business and polical setors.. That's why I cannot recognize faces at all...

Thursday (21/8) was the last competition day for Olympic Equestrian Event. Everyone was excited as it was also the last day for nearly all of the volunteers if they did not help at the Paralymics. Vienna, Warren, Kannie and I gathered at Shatin KCR and got onto the shuttle bus a around 3:30 pm. We took photos with the torch fire and the venue before the duty started. The sun was so strong that day. Luckily, I brought a cap bought from the MS store... a smart black equestrian cap. I got two from the suite store. Many people wanted it and asked me where to get it. I could tell but the no. was limited and it was relly popular. I gave one to my dad and also got 6 towels with one Mascot on each towel for my family - lovely!! I also spent in the store coz I love Beijing. I love BEijing Olymics especially one I could help in. I served outside the suite as a recetionist that night and watched the competition and the medal presenting ceremony. Though it was crowed and hot outside the air-conditioned suite, I felt great~~ Live show is always exciting and great~~~

After that, my team also got a chance to eat inside the suite, where all the celebrities were in... I ate something and all of us hurried out to take photos on the competition court ~ we seized a chance to step on the champion stand.. after 2 rounds, I could move from the 1st runner up to the champion... hahaha.. the whole group took a photo ~ It was getting late, I left with Vienna at around 1 am... but missed the chance to take photos with the 5 Mascots.. but that was alright bcoz I got other precious photos with friends! I even met my secondary school mate, Kan. She is not a volunteer but one of the staff of the BOCOG~ Wow~ catering team. She got a good working experience for her CV! I am also happy making friends with so many people. They also got a good heart in serving~ good!

I got hoem at around 2:15 am with the help of the taxi at WTS. I quickly packed up and took a shower, waiting for the Sing Yin teaching.. then the weather report announced that typhoon signal no.9 was hoisted... wow~ unbelivable. I slept again.. but next Sat, I need to teach for the make-up class.. oh oh.. but still a good rest.

Today, Esther helped me to pick up the things from LKPF and picked me up at TWS. We headed for Shatin MCSSS. She and her friend, plus the driver also helped me sending the lugguage. Thanks~ thwn I set off for the meeting held by Cheung Man Kong about the "killing of schools". Many teachers expressed their views. I agreed that the govt should work out a wise plan instead of killing the schools who still hold the values. Is HK edu only aiming at elites? Does it think about how the elites would be affected if the band 3 students also move up to the band 2 and then band 2 to band 1? The existance of the band 3 schools also holds a value and how can we undermine or neglect the effort of the teachers who are willing to work and contribute? Anyway, I also hope that the gov't can have a long-sighted plan .. not just killing and reviving year after year ... confusing the public and messing the teachers at the same time. Then I backed school for another 2 meetings... the orientation for parents and PTA which was not really related to all the teachers... strange...Then I left with Teresa and Yankee.

I also contributed one poem to the volunteer memento album.. dunno if it will be published.. but I also learnt from my teaching ... hahaha... Let me share with you!

Equestrian

Equality shared among nations

Queens and kings step on the palace of medals

Uniting seven continents and five oceans

Echoed with the laughter all over the world

Sure win! Hurrah!

Together we cheer, we cry, we clap

Round and round we dance, we drink, we dare

Ice-breaking international event

Are we ready?

Never-ending notable network with nostalgia

 

    

    

Today should be a good day as I went to Sing Yin in the morning for a meeting as what I have been doing for nearly 5 years. I met Anita, Ronald and Ms Cheng (Mrs Kwok)... We had good time discussing the lesson plans and great to meet again! Anita, Paul and I went to have lunch together! There was much fun and I simply do not know why I could not stop myself from laughing once there was a funny thing and when I saw Anita's smiling face, I started to laugh again... I am totally infected with the laughters.. hahaha... We talked and laughted till around 1 pm and I set off for Fortress Hill to obtain my Escort certificate, which has been ready for nearly 3 months or even more. After that, I webt to Festival Walk for my free gift - Dior Addict! I also bought a set of cosmetic again there as it is price-worthy - $304 for a whole set~ Wow! It is the price for only 1 bottle on normal day! Special offer always makes me happy! Before I left, I walked around again and tried to get some more clothes.. but I failed even after trying on 2 dresses at b+ab and love the grey butterfly one-piece dress... That was the only one and I could not put up that with so many people trying on with deteriorating cotton condition though the salesgirl kept on telling me that was not a big deal...I gave up anyway... Am I too picky? Yet, I really cannot put up the impression of "dirt"... though it looks quite nice and fit!!

Last night (31/7), I was so glad to have a hot pot with my 2A girls: Olivia, Ruby, Doki, WYY & Miki. It was sad that Becky was sick, hoping that we can meet again later in September or so... We talked and took photos and had a big meal! They are really lovely girls and I am sure that they will have a bright future and husband as they are so appealing and smart! They are loving and you know that they care you so much~~ with lovely face too! We left very late at night and I was quite worried about their safety. Luckily, they were all home safely and I got a message from Olivia~ Good!

The good day was a bit disrupted by a small incident when George called me and asked me about my account no. and also my new change of job. I know he got a good intention but still it made me worried a bit as I have been prepared to go there and would not wanna start from the beginning again... He tried his very best to ask anybody that he knew about the school and reported to me everything. One call, two calls, three calls... to remind me .. I doubted and became unsure again whether I should start my job-seeking again... You know, I am always such a week person with not much self-confidence.. but he kept on giving me negative comments on the school. Although I have been prepared, I am still not yet ready to accpet further blows! I told him to tell me step by step and he also got a good skill to assure me ~ emphazing that I deserve more than that and how good I am etc... I felt warm after listening to his words but still need to think carefully what I should do next as he has been working so hard in the whole afternoon to collect data for me. Thanks so much!

我依然感到自己頗好勝、任性。他人越是這是困難，自己越是想嘗試。我也問自己，這是妳的意願，或是天父的安排？他曾說："你心裡是知道的。妳清楚問問吧！" 我就再給自己一次機會吧。繼續看看，終於選了一份，明天寄信。天父，讓我更清晰，可以嗎？

無論工作，或是其他，我也對自己懷疑。有時，我也明白這是對祂的信心不足吧！更甚的是，自己感到茫然、自私。明明這不是自己想要，或是應當得的，也想他向著自己。這是不當的！所以，我一直也只可逃避，有時偽裝著，不知他人會否感到我冷漠。作為朋友，若是沒可能，或是同性的，顯然，我會表現更自然，或許，更熱情呢。我也喜歡分享自己的事，也不是時常喜歡獨處呢！

實習進入最後兩星期，希望可快些完成，也令那些使我感到模糊不清的想法和事情挪開。時間的確可令我忘記背後，也使我可重新投入。有時，我也不清這是自己的多愁善感，錯覺，還是很多人也是搖擺不定，四處"播種"。我真的不想踏"鋼絲"。大家的感覺突然奇怪起來，我更是不自然。無論如何，我深信神會帶領的。我應信靠祂！

希望Paula和Jo快些回來，與我分享更多。不然，我便會過份受他們影響。他一言，他又一語。我真的不知那是真。這些日子，我要學習更自主獨立！

    

These few days keep on busy with preparing for my women group for the ethnic minorirties (EM). This time I will organise a beauty and fitness group for them. I hope that more women can join and I can use the "beauty & fitness" as a glimmick to lead them into a more in-depth self-reflection on self care, self understanding and more explorations... it sounds to be more thereputic but should be on surficient too!

Today I went through the most scary experience again. That was to share with my colleagues about my feeling for quitting my job. Upon Mr. Tong and Mr. Chow inviitation, I agreed to share in the final teacher's cell. I was nervous and my voice got a bit shivering... I can feel that my face also turned "green"... I tried my best to keep myself  focused because I knew that I had plenty of things to share from the bottom of my heart. I tried to share the process of my job-seeking and my feeling at LKPFC.. on top of that, the expression of my gratitude towards the Eng Panel, Mr. Ho, Ms Ma, Ms Liang, Queenie, Mr. Liu etc... indeed, I still forgot to thank many, e.g. Ms Lui etc... and many happy episodes with my dear colleagues. It was difficult for me to remember all my words, especially in such a threatening atmosphere! That is why I missed something but that would be alright. While I was listening to Esther, I found that she was very fluent. She was one year older but her presentation skill is much better. What a shame! I really have to practise more so that I can be trained up!

When our school social worker shared, my tear kept on coming out... especially when she shared with us a song and we were singing it together... I could not remember the song but I did not know why I could not hold the tear at that moment... I just felt touched... I could not imagine because that was not supposed to be that... After all teh prayers, I got myself better but still could not stay calm. When someone came to talk to me, my tear came out again... During the presentation of prize for the leaving colleagues (Esther, Ma & me), I hardly held my tear and dried it again and again... I felt relieved after I left the music room. I am always weak at that critical moment ... whenever there is a separation. Struggles came up often but the responses of my colleagues encouraged me always. They supported me and gave me encouragement. They said it was a wise decision... that made me feel much better since I have been doubting much for my choice... everytime... I am not sure about myself...

I miss my students most, followed by my colleagues and teh school culture... everything seems to be a dream again when it passed by... I miss it and will never forget it. God, you know me the most.

These days I heard the song "Shall we talk?" again and again... I dunno why it touched me quite strongly... In fact, I know the answer... I received this song at a very upset time... it re-called my past memory... I asked for a stop when all these broken parts come at the same time.

Upset by the ruined DVD but excited again after sharing with Jo at Dan Ryan at the Festival Walk. We simply could not stop... we realized that "the world is small" again.. I was just worried about the transportation after we left as she left far away from the city. Luckily, she got on the train and would be home safely. Surprised to meet Mrs Wong (EDB educational psychologist) when Jo and I decided to enter the Festival Walk.

These days I have been surprised to meet all the old faces again- my mentor, Chester, Mrs Wong etc... Maybe more will come ^_^ Interesting encounter, unexpected life!!

Having been busy for nearly3 weeks for the practicum... finally I could get a whole-day off~ Hurrah!!

Watched a funny show by Mr. Jim Shui Man ... looking for "Fung Yan Mong"... full of foul language though some interesting conversations and episode~ First time to watch a drama with my colleagues! Happy!

The anxiety of separation makes me feel bad... contradictory feeling... wanna have the summer holiday but dun wanna separate with my lovely students (esp 2A) & colleagues at LKPFC... Yet, I am a grown up now... should be mature enough to handle all these life-matters. Miss you~ my heart stays with you.  

 

    

 

 

 

 

Recently, I have been quite relaxed, waiting for the Chinese New Year holiday to come... nearly all the books have been marked and I start to realize how I can reduce my workload by not invovling myself with too many businesses, sometimes, turing a deaf ear and a blind eye to surrounding matters can be nice too ^_^

 

Awakened by a movie, Evan Almighty last Saturday when we shared in a group. People usually do not believe unless they see it. We also struggle too much for all these invisible objects. More trust, more confidence should be placed on Him.

 

I really like my new XpressMusic Nokia 5690 ~ Songs are great! Music can give an incredible healing effect ~~ Despite the spending of $3030, I enjoyed my first mobile chosen by myself~ Yeah~~

Freezing days~~ waiting for my holiday after the Monday Parents' Day on Monday (4 Feb 2008) ^_^

After the Nutcracker Dance show, it is the first time for me to watch a musical in 2008! This time I am so glad to be seated in the fifth row~~ very close to the stage and had a very close look at all the actors, actresses and the screens~~  This has been an excellent show ever *** If I can rank it, it will come to the top and 4.5 stars out of the five star scheme.

 

I have read the Chinese and English versions of the book 3 months ago. With a chance to watch the this thought-provoking drama, I feel excited. I have been very patient waiting for that night and could finally watch it! Harrah!! The songs were well-designed and so as the impressive visual effects with the aids of I.T. ^_^ The pilot, the Little Prince, the Rose, the Kings (Geographer, Light-man...), the Fox, the Snake were all very meaningful ~~~ It lets me think critically and have an indepth reflection of life, love and friendship ~~~ COOL!

 

"All grown-ups were formerly children but few of them remember".

"Essentials are invisible to eyes, but feel with hearts"

"To tame is to build up relationship- to make feel attached"

"After a day, we can get a little closer"

"We become utique after we have been tamed. Otherwise, we will be normal among the thousands."

"Without a friend, one will never be utique to anyone, feeling alone."

 

What do you think?

I guess... I have been touched deeply after the show last night.

$750 + $350(a souvenirs T-shirt) + $100 (a programe description & mouse pad) --> that's still worthwhile ~~~ I guess my brother agree too! ^_^

 

    

 

 

 

After the Christmas holiday, the school examination has started so instead of teaching, I only have to invilgilate 1- 2 periods per day - and the rest of the time is spent on marking robotically :p

Marking and marking... the life of a red pen lasts for less than a week! What a sad story it is!

 

Having the afternoon off has been great for me. I have at least an hour for lunch and sometimes eating out with interesting colleagues  Yum-cha or steak house are my favourite... It is much better than being "locked" in a small room and disturbed every 5 minutes. Anyway, though the marking is tiring. I still enjoy that a lot!

 

Hurrah! I have nearly finished marking all. 3 more stacks of compositions (2 tasks per each x 102) ... shall be completed within these 2-3 days hopefully. I have finished the usage + reading competition (x102) + the ten pages of listening paper (x62 ... 40left). Then I will continue marking the English projects again and some Language Arts works! The work will never end but I believe that I can get them all done! ^_^

 

University life will start tomorrow (9 Jan). This semester, I have 2 courses to study - Mental Disorder & Social Policy & Planning. The academic result has been released too! I have just been informed about 10 minutes ago. Since I have already expected the result of practicum so no surprises - one C+ and one B+ ~~~~ I must work very hard again anyway!  If I do not have to please my supervisor, I believe that I can get much higher marks in this semester ^_^ Hee~~

 

Enjoy the life is my aim at the moment ~ You are Only Young Once!

2007 will be gone very soon ~~~~ What I enjoy most is these few weeks while I can have a real enjoyment of teh holiday with no assignments, practicum and anything... except a few piles of compositions... :p

Anyway it is GREAT! I have started all my happy moment since the first day of my holiday... (22 Dec) Visiting the many outlets at Tung Chung with my 8 colleagues and bought a bag for my sister and a black scarf for myself. I bought the same things as Esther ^_^ That day I also got a box of choclate from the lucky draw + a cup of jelly from Teddy...

 

On the second day (23 Dec) , I went to the church in the morning and had a Christmas party there. Then I went to TST for a ballet show - Nutcracker. It is my second time to watch that show but with different people. This time the IT effect is getting advanced, making a wonderful visual effect! I was really impressed. I really love watching the beautiful dance done by all the dancers~~ We ate at a Vietnamese resturant afterwards.

 

On the third day (24 Dec), I went out to have some shopping before I joined my friends at Mongkok. Mani came to my home and we exchanged presents. It was a nice jewellary box, like a piece of cake. I bought 3 pairs of stockings and met 2 girls. Then Jo joined us, followed by Paula, Ada and Angel. We went for the K-buffet, which cost about $ 90 for 2.5 hours - quite reasonable at Christmas holiday! We sang and sang ~~~  

 

On the fourth day (25 Dec), Mani and I went to Disneyland. It was my first time to visit Disneyland. It is a snowy and sparkling one! I really felt excited and amazed by all the designs. Wearling the specially designed glasses, I saw many snowmen with the dots of lights... Amazing! The firework became the most unforgettable part... We stayed and insisted till 11:00 p.m. when the Disneyland closed.  Though it was cold at night and we had been exhausted after the whole-day queueing up, I found it worthwhile to spend a day in such a piece of dreamland~~~ People criticized HK Disneyland of its SMALL size but I found it is the strength to be of that size ~~~ at least, we have a sense of achievement afterall by playing around the whole theme park... hahaha...

 

For the next few days, I stayed at home for the recovery of energy... waited till 30 Dec when the PGDE mates called me for a mini-gathering: Vicky, Angel, Sum Sum...

Wish you all a fruitful 2008 ^___^ I will try my very BEST as well to complete my DREAM~~~

 

 

   

  

 

Last week was crowded with all the work~ Luckily, everything has nearly come to the end when my paper had been completed 4 hours before the deadline and the paper-setting should be over if the paper has been circulated and laid on my desk on Monday. ^_^

 

Last Tuesday before the Sports Day, the English Club BBQ was successfully run with the help of the committee members. They are very helpful, buying all the food, charcoal, drinks and presents... I also bought some for them. We had a happy BBQ time. Then we had 2 games for relaxation ("treasure hunt" and lucky draw). Everyone is satisfied with the happy moment because we do not have to be worried about the homework for a while and played till 8:30 p.m. when I forced them to leave. Jennifer (the English Tutor) also joined us to the end.

 

It was scary to be the last one to leave when I switched off all the lights and locked the school gate... walking along the dark and quiet path to the main road... When reaching home, I was so tired... taking a  bath and slept till 7:15 a.m. and had an early exercise walking to the gyn centre at Hammer Hill Road. It was another working day as I was responsible for the javelin ... which required much attention for the whole process... I was really scared when that long sharp stick was held in the air...  Fortunately, the helpers were helpful and experienced. They could help a lot. I just hate standing under the sun for nearly an hour... because I felt that I was "melting" ... I was quite excited on the first day and ate out at Diamond Hill with Fiona, Esther, Michelle ... the nine of us were satisfied with the food though it was a bit expensive ~ $65 for the tiny lunch. The second day came out to be a boring day as I had to take up the similar job of standing, announcing and measuring for the javelin competitions. Yet, I was impressed by my monitor, Joshua, who was good at sports. He got the champion at the Boys' Grade B Javelin Competition- Congratulations!

 

In the afternoon, I was bored to death as I had no duties left but to look around and stand here and there, worrying about my assignment. I was too tired to continue with anything because I slept too late the night before... struggling for the 3000 words. Anyway, everything was over and I got a day-off after the Sports Day and I enjoy surfing the Net and had nobody calling me for the entire day ^__^ Hurrah!

 

Next week will be the final week of the year... I am really eager to have FUN at Christmas~ Disneyland, the ballet show, yummy food... I am waiting for you!! Hee Hee~~~

 

     

 

These days in December have been very busy with all the work ... pressure from the university, school and home... It has been very worrying and irriatating indeed... I have completed 70% of the work before the X'Mas comes. Examination has been over. The assignment will be due next Wednesday. The Speech Festival for 2 girls and 3 boys have been over too, leaving 1 boy and 1 girl coming next week. The storystelling competition for the Form 1 & 2 is coming, signalling the training of the 3 storytellers. The book inspection has been postponed to January luckily. The exam paper setting is easy this time and should have been finished if they do not demand to much from me... Yet, the marking of the UT for the 3 classes have been remained as there are many stacks of quiz books, dictation books and compositions coming... The counselor work in the Franklin Graham Festival has been finished... more follow-up work should be done.

 

Anyway, I am really very busy completing different tasks every day, leaving no time to have lunch, or personal growth... Worse still, last week, I was scared by such a BIG event for nearly all day and night... Impulsive action can really cause a long-term worry and responsibility. Please think carefully anyway.

 

Last Friday, my students invited me to their BBQ in the school so I stayed after school till 8:30 p.m. Two students hurt unfortunately. Hope they will get well soon and I cn see them tomorrow.  They are a group of caring girls- understand me and feel for me all the time though sometimes they may say something nasty. Yes, I should not give myself too much work... relax myself from the heavy workload and try to get "lazier" should be my next step perhaps. ^_^ Yet, I can't do that at the moment because I still care for them.  

 

Anyway, I will think for myself. Time never waits and I do not want to wait my Golden time neither!

 

Today, after the Sunday service, I stayed there for the farewell party for the Lai family. I could not hold my tear at all when we sang the song and shook hands with them... When eating, I tried to divert my thinking and suppressed my emotions. Yet, it was so hard for me... the concept of "separation" has been very sad for me since I was young ... Anyway, teh tear would dry after some time... I am sure ... I need to do my assignment now...

 

      

I have two non-teaching days because of the Mussic Festival. However, I still have lots to prepare... prepare my class to sing as they entered the last round ... prepared myself to perform a singing  show toward the end of the show... I just wonder if a teacher has to be an entertainer and a good singer too..  You know.. I am too shy in front of a BIG group of a people and the psychological "stage fright" stroke on me that I cannot escape at all... so I felt uncomfortable for two days before the show performed and practiced hard at home and in the school with Fiona, Esther, Mandy, Carl and King... The male teachers became the centre of the audience as they are a great pianist and guitar player!

 

Anyway, everything passed and I have backed to my own place .. leaving much work undone... pity ...

I went for a cake-making class with Michelle, Fiona, Mandy and Anna at Tai Wai after the Music Festival in the afternoon. I was so successful in making a green-tea red-bean cake! Wow~ Yum!! I share with my family.

 

On Saturday, I met Eunice and Vivian at around 11:45 a.m. as they called me all of a sudden and told me that they were in WTS... then I met Ryan as we made the appointment the week before and he was really very responsible. He looks smarter and stronger! We ate and talked... at around 1:45 p.m... I hurried to the last session of the Western etiquette class conducted by Sir T.L. Yang. I miss the time when I was in SKH LPSS.. they are so lovely... and our relationship lasted... that is what I treasure most...

 

    

  

 

This week has been very exhausting... Monday was the test day but my free afternoon was occupied by the S.2 Developmental group and dealing with a group of children has been very tiring for me. I can't show any happiness on my face. The design was great with the school social worker, Ms Lee planned everything - "Hello me" . setting group rules, mirroring game- expressing emotions with face, "copying others' actions", "sharing feeling with one musical instrument" and making the clay work... so there are really plenty of things that I can learn from... but it really takes much time and I nearly fell asleep...

 

I want a rest...

It is always happy to be with my family and friends.  

 

I have not been writing for my xanga and sharing house for several weeks... I am simply too lazy, busy and sleepy to do anything when I back home. I grab every opportunity to sleep, watch TV and accompany my parents, sister and brothers.

 

The Halloween party was scary and exciting. I don't know why we felt so scared even though we knew that all the "ghosts" were fake... might be their sudden actions and screams scared us so much... they really got very close to you ... just a few inches away from us...  With the terrible make-up, they really scared us for the whole night... I also tried to scare other visitors when we were in the cable car... I made some strange sounds.. hahaha...

 

One week later, on the Chung Yeung Festival, with the coordination of Angel, we went hiking in Sai Kung on 19 Oct (Friday). It was a sunny day. I met some new friends, Cheung Cheung, Hin & Eric. I learnt how to read the map and some survival skills because Cheung Cheung & Hin are so good at outdoor activities with their SW background. ^_^ We talked and walked... ate the pear, chocolate and Paula's biscuit sticks. After having the dessert at Sai Kung Mun Kee, I left for Diamond Hill and hurried home for the celebration of my dad's birthday.

This month is very busy because mum, dad and Adrian's birthdays come in the same month- October!  Yet, it is happy because I can enjoy several wonderful meal~~~ Hurrah!!

 

One more breakthrough is ... I perm my hair under the persuasion of the barber... anyway... I will get used to it.