Today should be a good day as I went to Sing Yin in the morning for a meeting as what I have been doing for nearly 5 years. I met Anita, Ronald and Ms Cheng (Mrs Kwok)... We had good time discussing the lesson plans and great to meet again! Anita, Paul and I went to have lunch together! There was much fun and I simply do not know why I could not stop myself from laughing once there was a funny thing and when I saw Anita's smiling face, I started to laugh again... I am totally infected with the laughters.. hahaha... We talked and laughted till around 1 pm and I set off for Fortress Hill to obtain my Escort certificate, which has been ready for nearly 3 months or even more. After that, I webt to Festival Walk for my free gift - Dior Addict! I also bought a set of cosmetic again there as it is price-worthy - $304 for a whole set~ Wow! It is the price for only 1 bottle on normal day! Special offer always makes me happy! Before I left, I walked around again and tried to get some more clothes.. but I failed even after trying on 2 dresses at b+ab and love the grey butterfly one-piece dress... That was the only one and I could not put up that with so many people trying on with deteriorating cotton condition though the salesgirl kept on telling me that was not a big deal...I gave up anyway... Am I too picky? Yet, I really cannot put up the impression of "dirt"... though it looks quite nice and fit!!

Last night (31/7), I was so glad to have a hot pot with my 2A girls: Olivia, Ruby, Doki, WYY & Miki. It was sad that Becky was sick, hoping that we can meet again later in September or so... We talked and took photos and had a big meal! They are really lovely girls and I am sure that they will have a bright future and husband as they are so appealing and smart! They are loving and you know that they care you so much~~ with lovely face too! We left very late at night and I was quite worried about their safety. Luckily, they were all home safely and I got a message from Olivia~ Good!

The good day was a bit disrupted by a small incident when George called me and asked me about my account no. and also my new change of job. I know he got a good intention but still it made me worried a bit as I have been prepared to go there and would not wanna start from the beginning again... He tried his very best to ask anybody that he knew about the school and reported to me everything. One call, two calls, three calls... to remind me .. I doubted and became unsure again whether I should start my job-seeking again... You know, I am always such a week person with not much self-confidence.. but he kept on giving me negative comments on the school. Although I have been prepared, I am still not yet ready to accpet further blows! I told him to tell me step by step and he also got a good skill to assure me ~ emphazing that I deserve more than that and how good I am etc... I felt warm after listening to his words but still need to think carefully what I should do next as he has been working so hard in the whole afternoon to collect data for me. Thanks so much!

我依然感到自己頗好勝、任性。他人越是這是困難，自己越是想嘗試。我也問自己，這是妳的意願，或是天父的安排？他曾說："你心裡是知道的。妳清楚問問吧！" 我就再給自己一次機會吧。繼續看看，終於選了一份，明天寄信。天父，讓我更清晰，可以嗎？

無論工作，或是其他，我也對自己懷疑。有時，我也明白這是對祂的信心不足吧！更甚的是，自己感到茫然、自私。明明這不是自己想要，或是應當得的，也想他向著自己。這是不當的！所以，我一直也只可逃避，有時偽裝著，不知他人會否感到我冷漠。作為朋友，若是沒可能，或是同性的，顯然，我會表現更自然，或許，更熱情呢。我也喜歡分享自己的事，也不是時常喜歡獨處呢！

實習進入最後兩星期，希望可快些完成，也令那些使我感到模糊不清的想法和事情挪開。時間的確可令我忘記背後，也使我可重新投入。有時，我也不清這是自己的多愁善感，錯覺，還是很多人也是搖擺不定，四處"播種"。我真的不想踏"鋼絲"。大家的感覺突然奇怪起來，我更是不自然。無論如何，我深信神會帶領的。我應信靠祂！

希望Paula和Jo快些回來，與我分享更多。不然，我便會過份受他們影響。他一言，他又一語。我真的不知那是真。這些日子，我要學習更自主獨立！